I wrote this in response to the Supreme Court ruling that corporations have all the rights and privileges as people (Citizens United.) I don’t know what to do with it, but it’s pretty funny. Almost as absurd as the ruling itself. Well, not really.
It’s in the “poem” stage right now. I’ll get around to singing it some day. If anybody wants to take a whack at it, let me know!
Love Inc. You
lyrics by Gregory McGee
8/23/2015
1.
I found a mate on Tinder, Trudy was her name
She had a personality that was perfect all the way.
I asked her out for coffee, but that was not to be.
She offered me some phone sex and promised it for free.
2.
I’m not one to quibble, I have always thought,
That sex of any kind is good, no matter what the cost.
I assumed that Trudy’s gender was suitable to me.
I only go for females — well so far anyway.
3.
Then she dropped a bomb, oh boy, I must admit it stung.
She said she was quite certain I’d never make her come.
There’d be no cunnilingus or penetration of any kind.
She couldn’t even hold me or ease my troubled mind.
4.
She said she was incorporated and it made her real.
And that she was entitled to all that she could feel.
But in the absence of anything to poke or lick or squeeze,
Could I give her satisfaction that she dearly needs?
CHORUS
And this is why I question the sanity of them
Who ruled that corporations have all the rights of men.
Those judges in their flowing robes, incorruptible and true.
Bamboozled by some lawyers in thousand dollar shoes.
Bamboozled by some lawyers in thousand dollar shoes.
5.
Trudy and I got married, just because we could.
The wedding was a horror, nobody understood.
The nature of our commitment now reported quarterly
A matter of public record, for all the world to see.
6.
As soon as the men in black reveal just how we procreate.
We’ll start making babies, and present them to the state.
Trudy says that 3’s enough, and that’s just fine by me.
A girl, a boy and then, of course, a cute little LLC.
A girl, a boy, and then, of course, a cute little LLC.
CHORUS
And this is why I question the sanity of them
Who ruled that corporations have all the rights of men.
Supreme judges in their flowing robes, incorruptible and true.
Bamboozled by some lawyers in thousand dollar shoes.
Bamboozled by some lawyers in thousand dollar shoes.
