OK, so, I was up on a chair…
getting a carton of water bottles down from a shelf above the refrigerator. I’d just learned that Austin’s water was on the fritz, and I already had an emergency supply because I’m such a smarty
The chair was oak, lacquered and shiny.
I was just about to go to bed, so I was wearing socks. When I slipped, I grabbed for the refrigerator and the freezer door came open. I lost my balance and started teetering backward. But lucky for me (not) the kitchen table was right there below, so I aimed my butt for it. It’s a nice old oak table with a drop leaf. Sturdy, but kind of delicate. At least, too delicate for a
My plan seemed to work for about 1/3 of a second. Then the table flipped over on its side, and catapulted me toward the floor, shoulder first.
When I hit the floor, I crumpled up like an egg carton and just laid there for about 10 minutes.
Once I realized I was not dead, I crawled over to another chair and pulled up off the floor, found my phone and called my sister
After X-rays, CT scan and blood tests, I learned that
eight ribs, and, somehow,
my left middle finger.
(I won’t be shooting anybody the bird for a while.)
Also, I had a short laceration on my scalp, and it had bled quite a bit, but seems to have stopped now, so it probably won’t kill me.
After a couple of days of excellent medical care by some of the nicest people you’ll ever meet in a hospital, I was pronounced “healed” and sent home.
Now, I don’t hurt too bad unless I move. Then, its yeeeooouch!
My days as an Uber driver are on hold. I could drive, actually. If I didn’t have to turn.
But this is Austin, not Bonneville Flats.
So, I’m looking for something else to do.
Got to pay that rent!